Posted in Grief

Getting Through Christmas

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Not too long ago money was scarce in my home. I’m talking practically non-existent. My husband’s thriving business suffered greatly during the recession, causing us to lose much of what he had worked so hard to provide.

With our bank account empty, even the most basic necessities such as toilet paper, toothpaste, and shampoo were tough to come by. And splurging on extras -you know, those wonderful things we typically take for granted such as koolaid, Little Debbie snack cakes, and the dollar menu at the local fast food restaurant- all of those quickly became a thing of the past. And certainly, if we couldn’t afford those small treats, you can imagine where we stood with our bigger, more important obligations.

We had hit rock bottom, and it hurt. We had never been at a lower point, financially or emotionally.

And then along came Christmas.  Not only one, but two, and then three Christmases with us barely scraping by.

This reality, followed closely by two back to back December goodbyes, wreaked havoc on my emotions – and my Christmas spirit.  Instead of excitement, I felt anxious over the gifts I couldn’t buy, the expectations I couldn’t meet, and the loved ones I couldn’t hug. I simply wished to hide away and skip the whole season of Christmas and all its merriment.

I remember vividly how my heart ached as I passed through those days. The uncertainties. The confusion. The disbelief. The sheer panic over the very real possibility of losing my home.  The heavy dread of facing Christmas with one or two fewer loved ones at the table.

Those years were tough; surviving those Christmases was even tougher. Yet here I am, hoping to encourage others walking a similar path. Those who view Christmas as more of a chore than a celebration; who are holding their breath, wishing to skirt past December unscathed.

Friend, if you are that person, may I share with you some of what has helped me?

First of all, it is so freeing to admit you are not strong enough, and you don’t have to be. Secondly, accepting help offered by others teaches you humility and brings a wonderful blessing to you both. Thirdly, learning to rely on God’s truth and promises is absolutely vital for it is there you begin to understand how much He truly loves you.

You see, if we operate in our own strength, sooner or later we give out. But if we allow the precious people God has placed in our lives to encourage, love, and support us, we are strengthened. And if we lean into God as we would a close friend, we sense His presence. And in His presence, our hearts begin to mend and our fears dissipate.

We learn God can be trusted.

We learn He is faithful.

We learn He will graciously meet us where we are …  even when He finds us cautiously playing hide and seek with Christmas.

 

 

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Author:

I'm a wife, a mom, and a mia (my own special word for grandma). You may or may not be these things, and that’s okay. Chances are we're still a lot alike. I’m certain we share some of the same struggles and ponder many of the same questions. We're busy and we're tired -can I get an amen? Yet, here we are, trying to live meaningful lives, positively impact those around us, and add a little sunshine wherever we go. But it’s not easy, is it? We mess up. Life gets tough. We find ourselves in need of a friend. Someone to encourage us, stand by us, and speak truth into us. To remind us we are not alone. That, sweet sister, is where I hope to come in - not with all the answers (I’m still searching for some myself), but with a genuine concern for you and a desire to walk alongside you on this incredible -and oftentimes arduous- journey called life.

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