Posted in Friendship, Mail on Mondays

Mail-on-Mondays: Dear Tidy Momma

tea party

Dear Tidy Momma,

Last week I made my bed for the first time in probably a month, or two if I’m being honest. It looked so pretty, I almost took a picture and posted it on social media. Except I was afraid of what you might think of me, or worse, what you might say.

Don’t get me wrong. I love a made bed, a clean kitchen, and floors that don’t leave your feet feeling gritty when you walk barefoot across them. But the truth is many days this does not describe my home, especially during our busiest seasons of homeschooling and basketball.

During those days, you will likely find dishes in the sink, baskets of clean laundry waiting to be put away, dust on the mantel, and paperwork calling for my attention. And although I run the vacuum often, there will still be some grit -and probably a bit of dog hair left behind by our beloved Jack Russell who thinks he owns the place. The table will be cluttered with the latest art project, or other school work in progress, or perhaps just a  mess one of my people failed to clean up. There may be a pair of shoes littering the living room floor, and possibly a blanket abandoned on the sofa.

This is more often my reality.

When I find myself longing for order in the midst of cluttered counter-tops, cookie crumbs, and the overall chaos of our incessant comings and goings, I begin to wonder how you manage it all. And why I can not.

If I continue in that mindset, comparing my home to yours or my tidiness (or lack thereof) to your tidiness, I will worry myself into a pitiful state. Such comparisons are seldom helpful. Measuring myself next to you will not result in a cleaner house, nor will it allow me the freedom of inviting you into my imperfect home. Rather, my insecurities will pile up, crushing the likelihood of us spending time together.

So instead, I’ll choose to see you as a mother much like myself, with your own set of concerns, uncertainties, and dangerous little comparisons. And if truth were told, probably a messy home from time to time as well.

And I hope one day, despite our differences, we’ll sit together in my home. We’ll connect, one momma’s heart to another. And another day, we’ll sit in your home, and I’ll breathe in the loveliness you’ve created, gathering inspiration to take back to my own home.

Sweet friend, we have so much to offer one another. May we lower our guard, put away our unrealistic expectations, endless efforts to please, and critical tendencies.

May we accept one another exactly as we are -and where we are- in life’s journey. And as we do so, may we find a safe place to rest and recline, basking in the beauty and delight of unexpected friendship.

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. Proverbs 27:9 (NLT)
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Author:

I'm a wife, a mom, and a mia (my own special word for grandma). You may or may not be these things, and that’s okay. Chances are we're still a lot alike. I’m certain we share some of the same struggles and ponder many of the same questions. We're busy and we're tired -can I get an amen? Yet, here we are, trying to live meaningful lives, positively impact those around us, and add a little sunshine wherever we go. But it’s not easy, is it? We mess up. Life gets tough. We find ourselves in need of a friend. Someone to encourage us, stand by us, and speak truth into us. To remind us we are not alone. That, sweet sister, is where I hope to come in - not with all the answers (I’m still searching for some myself), but with a genuine concern for you and a desire to walk alongside you on this incredible -and oftentimes arduous- journey called life.

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