Posted in Everyday Life, Faith, Family, God, it's me., Motherhood, Thankfulness

God, it’s me.

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Good morning, God. It’s me.

I’m up a little earlier than usual this morning. I’ve made my coffee. I’m seated in my office, at my small black desk, to meet with You.

As usual, the house is quiet this time of morning. All I hear is the ceiling fan above my head, an occasional car passing by my front window, and the faint snore of our favorite Jack Russell sacked out in the living room. No doubt he is curled up next to one of my littles who are sleeping soundly after last night’s late movie – a fun, relaxing way to spend a Friday night with family.

I, on the other hand, couldn’t keep my eyes open. Not long into the movie, I retreated to my room to find sleep. So here I am, awake at 5:30 a.m., sitting in the calm of the morning with you, Lord. Exactly where I need to be.

As I think back over the past couple of weeks, I am thankful.

Going to two doctors’ appointments, my imagination convincing me something may be wrong. Wondering what effect it would have on my children. Trusting even the worst of scenarios would somehow turn out okay. Then, very much relieved with the news that all is well. Thank you, God.

Seeing all of my children crowd around the dining room table to play a game. It seems trivial, but in reality, it is not. They are here. Present in this life. Present in this family. Present in this home. And they enjoy being together. In this age of technology and busyness, what a blessing!

As they play their game, the grandbabies are also in the mix. Too young to play, but very much a part of these sweet moments. The almost two year old climbing from one lap to another, trying hard to swipe a game piece as he goes. The baby, passed around the table, coddled by her people as if it’s second nature – because it is.  Another blessing.

I watch my children…

As a mother, I am keenly aware of my mistakes, remembering many of them too well. Saying yes when I should have said no; saying no when I should have said yes. Trusting others with my children, only to realize they were not trustworthy. Making decisions based on others’ opinions rather than my own convictions.

I could go on and on, God, lingering on my past failures, yet I know that is not the answer. Oh, how I long to get this mothering thing right!

Should I learn from the past? Of course. But should I live there? Absolutely not.

So once again, I am thankful. Thankful for your forgiveness. Thankful for the extra chances you give me to grow into the mother -and the wife- you call me to be. Thankful you didn’t expect me to get it all right the first time, nor do you expect that of me now.

I still have so much to learn, so many mistakes to make. But I must tell you, picturing my children crowded around that worn-out table brings hope and encouragement to my momma-heart. Just as you knew it would… thank you. 

 

Posted in Contentment, Everyday Life, Faith, Joy, Overwhelmed, Perfection, Purpose, Thankfulness

Imperfect, Lovely You

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Searching for my true identity is where I’ve been. Examining, one by one, all the labels I’ve claimed ownership to over the years. Taking myself back to the basics – to the very core of who I am- of who God created me to be.

In doing so, I’ve come to realize I have purpose, value, and meaning. Despite my many flaws, my endless insecurities, I matter.

Why?  Because I am His.  And because I am His, I am loved.  Not because of what I’ve accomplished, or the successes I may attain next week or a year from now. I am loved simply because I am a child of the one true God.

That truth has changed my reality. I’m learning it’s alright to rest. To sit and enjoy the gifts around me. To be still, knowing it’s not all up to me.

While I’m thankful to be a part of His great plan, I’m relieved to know my assignments aren’t meant to overwhelm, suffocate, or trap me.  They are meant to bring joy, satisfaction, and contentment to my life.  Will they be easy? No. But meaningful?  Yes.

And guess what else I’m learning?  Perfection is not required.

Believe me, I’ve never considered myself perfect, yet I’ve lived as though I should be. Surely you know what I mean … thinking I must have it all together to be a good wife, a good mother, a good anything.  Thinking I should be able to handle every little thing that comes my way (and, if I’m being honest, the big things too), all without falling apart.

Ladies, where do we come up with the notion that being the best wife, mother, volunteer, or whatever, means we must be someone besides ourselves? How sad it is that we’re constantly striving to become someone we’re not rather than embracing and enjoying the someone God created us to be.

When we long for the personalities, talents, and callings we see in others, we exhaust, frustrate, and discredit ourselves.

Friends, we must not forget, I was created to be me, and you were created to be you.

Specific personalities.

Various talents.

Unique strengths.

Personal callings.

All hand-picked and woven together into individual, precious women – you, me, and others who walk this life with us.  All of us loved by our Creator, not because of what we do, but because of who we are.

When we grasp that truth, we are better equipped to pursue life as God intended… as women who desire to please Jesus, make a difference in the lives of those around us, and share with others God’s unconditional love.

Carrying it out in our own distinct, creative way.

Perfect, no. But lovely, yes.

 

Posted in Motherhood, Thankfulness

Finding Good in Unexpected Circumstances

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I don’t mind hotel stays. In fact, I welcome them from time to time.  Afterall, what momma doesn’t love daily housekeeping services?  Yet, as I sit here this evening, in my single-roomed home-away-from-home, I’m feeling somewhat restless. 

That’s what happens when your plans are interrupted and, rather than following your kids around town for homeschool basketball, you’re camped out in a hotel room all day. Just you and your sweet, youngest child who crawled out of bed with an unexpected fever this morning.

We awakened early, dressed quickly, and prepared to head out, but it didn’t take long to realize that simply wasn’t happening.  Instead, we removed his shoes and tucked him back into bed, sending dad and his older siblings off to their games and award ceremonies without us.

While this was not how I intended to spend my day, I cannot bring myself to complain. For blessings still abound, even when my circumstances don’t meet my expectations.

May I share some thankfuls with you instead?

I’m thankful we made it to Friday this year before sickness hit our family (normally, this happens earlier in our National tournament week). 

I’m really thankful we didn’t miss big brother’s gold ball game.

I’m thankful we’ve already made not one, but two trips to Andy’s Frozen Custard (always a must-have since we don’t have one near home).

I’m thankful this sickness is not that awful stomach bug I’ve been hearing about. 

I’m thankful we had some leftovers in our little kitchen, along with plenty of coffee and creamer!

I’m thankful for some quiet in the middle of our busy – and for the “do not disturb” sign which allowed us to snag some much needed rest.  

I’m thankful for being here with my little man, for mommy’s presence always seems to make things better. Which reminds me of what a privilege it is to be somebody’s momma. And oh, the love motherhood brings with it. In the midst of the difficulties we face, there is such love.

And for that blessing of love, I am most thankful.